If you're asking this question, chances are the nights have been long and you are running very low on sleep.

Your baby is tired. You are tired. And everyone keeps telling you that night wakings are “normal”... but what is happening in your home doesn't feel right to you.

So what is “normal” and when might something else be getting in the way of better sleep?

Let's break it down.

All babies wake during the night.

Adults do too. The difference is that we often move between sleep cycles and fall back asleep without even remembering it the next morning.

So waking up is not, by itself, the problem.

It becomes difficult when your baby is waking up very frequently, struggling to settle again, seeming tired despite having slept, or when the whole family is running on empty night after night.

Frequent night wakings can be a sign that something is getting in the way of more settled, restorative sleep.

There isn't always one single reason. Baby sleep is influenced by age, development, feeding needs, temperament, daytime sleep and how sleep happens in the first place.

But there are a few things worth looking at.

This one surprises most parents.

It is easy to assume that the more tired a baby is, the better they will sleep.

When a baby has not had enough sleep during the day or stays awake beyond what they can comfortably manage, they can become overtired. And that can make it harder to fall asleep and settle into deep, restful sleep.

We all have things that help us fall asleep. Babies do too.

If your baby always falls asleep in one very specific way, such as feeding, rocking, being held or with another form of help, they may look for those same conditions when they naturally wake between sleep cycles during the night.

There is nothing wrong with helping your baby to sleep. The goal is not to take comfort or support away, but to gradually give your baby more tools to fall asleep and fall back asleep independently.

These are the foundations of healthy sleep: helping your baby develop the ability to self-regulate, to calm down and find their way back to sleep, while still feeling safe, supported and responded to.

This does not mean your baby will stop needing you. The question is whether the way they fall asleep right now is working for them and for your whole family.

Daytime sleep and nighttime sleep are closely connected. What time your baby wakes up, how long they stay awake between naps, when and how long they nap, and what time they go to bed can all affect how they sleep at night.

Too much awake time can mean reaching bedtime already overtired. Too much daytime sleep, or a nap too close to bedtime, can mean there is not enough sleep pressure for a good night's sleep.

So when night wakings are frequent, it is worth looking at the whole day, not just at what is happening during the night.

If night wakings are very frequent or intense, have continued for several weeks without improving, your baby seems consistently tired, or the whole family is simply exhausted, it is okay to say:

“We need some support here.”

Good sleep is not about forcing a baby to sleep, ignoring their needs or expecting them to figure it all out on their own. It is about understanding what their body needs, responding to them, and gradually giving them the tools to develop healthy sleep foundations.